Everything becomes a 'growth opportunity.' Every conversation is about 'adding value.' They ask what you do within the first 15 seconds. Not because they're interested in you. Because they're calculating whether you're useful.

I now pay more for three streaming services than I did for cable. Two of them have ads on the tier I'm on. One of them cancelled the show I signed up for before I finished watching it. Progress.

Left a note saying I was 'stomping.' I am 62kg and wear socks. I've started stepping more carefully and then catching myself and being furious that I'm tiptoeing around my own flat. I feel like a ghost in my own home.

Six weeks. Half a day off work. She looked at me for approximately 40 seconds. The prescription was 'water and less stress.' I have specific, persistent symptoms I described in detail. She had already typed the next patient's name.

The dotted 'tear here' line is a lie. It has always been a lie. The plastic is engineered to resist human hands specifically. I don't know why I keep falling for it.

The picture on the box is gorgeous. The pieces look fine in the photo. But when you actually sit down to do it, they don't fit together properly. Half the edges are wrong. Clearly someone generated an image of a finished puzzle and sent it straight to print without checking if the actual pieces would work.

Three months notice. Flights booked. Accommodation sorted. Told my team. Then two weeks before: 'this one's important, we really need everyone there.' Cool. Fantastic.

The menu described it as 'refreshing Japanese-style cucumber salad with toasted sesame and miso dressing.' There were literally three slices of cucumber arranged in a triangle. The dressing was a drop. I ate it in one bite. I am not exaggerating.

I've covered her share of things quietly because she'll 'pay me back.' She's bought herself three things in the last month. None of those things were money she owes me. Saying this out loud makes me the villain somehow.

There's original artwork. Someone designed it. It exists. And you just... stamp your logo over the face of it every single time. The thumbnail is the first thing I see. Let the art breathe.

Simple order. Bourbon, rocks. 'Sorry, we're out of ice right now.' It's 7pm. You are a bar. Ice is a baseline requirement for your profession.

Not one. I started keeping track after I noticed. Every conversation was about them, their work, their stories, their problems. I was audience and emotional support. I had opinions, interests, a whole life. Just never asked about.

Spent 25 minutes in a chat before realising it was a bot the entire time. Not once did it tell me that. Just kept saying 'let me look into that for you' and then looping back to the same FAQ.

Attended one last week. Stood there for 90 minutes. Left with 8 cards and zero useful connections. The canapes weren't even good enough to justify it. These things exist to make people feel productive while doing nothing.

I commute 90 minutes to sit in a noisy room recreating the conditions of my home office but worse. I have headphones on all day. I am functionally alone in a crowd. This is what they call 'collaboration.'

It's sucks how we have to live in a world where we have to bend to the mercy of big tech and large companies bending over backwards to get things done for people who don't care whether you are there or not. No matter how long you work at this company they can easily drop you, I wish there was another way we could come together, take these companies down and not have to be dependent on them. this sucks. this is my bitch