my nephew returns with the wrong item 5 times in a row

i asked him to get a can of jalapeños and he comes back with ketchup every time

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people who cancel plans the day of, every single time, are people who don't respect your time

dated someone for 8 months before realising they'd never once asked me a single question about myself

my sister has been 'between jobs' for 3 years. she just bought a new TV.

my brother borrowed my car 'for an hour' three days ago

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